Tagged: funny

Senator Schumer Admits 2003 “Donutgate” Affair With Vladimir Putin, Pope Francis Now Reveals That “Putin’s In My Stable!”

Michael J. Matheron, March 3, 2017, Reporting from the Vatican Today, a significant number of reliable sources revealed that Democratic Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Russian President Vladimir Putin maintained a close and...

Ted Cruz Embraces The Title ‘President-Elect’ On Same Day Of Rand Paul’s Announcement. Renders Rand Paul’s Presidential Candidacy Irrelevant.

Here was Ted Cruz, a man about to claim a unique place in American history. In his sonorous tenor voice he revealed:
“My dear friends, on January 20, 2017, at the exact moment when the Sun’s orbit around our homeland reaches its highest point in the sky, I shall begin my first eight-year term as your chief executive.” . . .

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Nearly Former Congresswoman Michele Bachmann Bagged By HUGE Entertainment Conglomerate

Bachmann will have the Marvel moniker Bachmahntu [Bahch-mahn-TOO], and portray the founding member of a new Marvel group, the Humbuggernaut Crew.

The crew will eventually grow to twenty-five or more failed, disreputable, berserk, or failed, disreputable and berserk legislators from far-flung black holes. According to Mr. Perlmutter, as a consequence of their knee-jerk lying, unapologetic pandering, craven self-interest, and clinically berserk legislative hijinks, Humbuggernaut Crew members become so toxic to their civilizations they are permanently exiled, forced to roam multi-universes seeking new life forms to mercilessly humbug and deceive. With this universe-wide voting constituency Humbuggernauts aim to establish galactic legislative dominance where all enacted laws will benefit Humbuggernauts alone.

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