Tagged: LOL
Ted Cruz Embraces The Title ‘President-Elect’ On Same Day Of Rand Paul’s Announcement. Renders Rand Paul’s Presidential Candidacy Irrelevant.
Here was Ted Cruz, a man about to claim a unique place in American history. In his sonorous tenor voice he revealed:
“My dear friends, on January 20, 2017, at the exact moment when the Sun’s orbit around our homeland reaches its highest point in the sky, I shall begin my first eight-year term as your chief executive.” . . .
Nearly Former Congresswoman Michele Bachmann Bagged By HUGE Entertainment Conglomerate
Bachmann will have the Marvel moniker Bachmahntu [Bahch-mahn-TOO], and portray the founding member of a new Marvel group, the Humbuggernaut Crew.
The crew will eventually grow to twenty-five or more failed, disreputable, berserk, or failed, disreputable and berserk legislators from far-flung black holes. According to Mr. Perlmutter, as a consequence of their knee-jerk lying, unapologetic pandering, craven self-interest, and clinically berserk legislative hijinks, Humbuggernaut Crew members become so toxic to their civilizations they are permanently exiled, forced to roam multi-universes seeking new life forms to mercilessly humbug and deceive. With this universe-wide voting constituency Humbuggernauts aim to establish galactic legislative dominance where all enacted laws will benefit Humbuggernauts alone.
Bizarre State Laws : Former City Vice-Mayor Accused By Dozens Of Tennessee Women Of DWDB (Driving While Displaying A Bratwurst)
On February 20, Kingsport Tennessee Police arrested William Blakely, a former Mount Carmel Vice-Mayor (and apparently a well-trained contortionist) on charges of reckless driving, indecent and reckless endangerment, and criminal attempt to commit aggravated assault. All this for allegedly holding a bratwurst out of his car window while driving in excess of 85 mph