Senatorial Underpants Probe UPDATE #2: Andrew Weiner’s House Gym Photo Adds More Mystery For Harry Reid To Solve
Senate Majority Leader Reid Reportedly “All oogy” After Receiving Our Close Analysis Of TMZ’s Weiner Gym Photo. . . . . . Here at They Will Say ANYTHING!, I’m fortunate to have a very sharp research staff composed of motivated people who owe me a great deal of money. Yesterday evening when they arrived at TWSA! after their day jobs, I assigned them the task of analyzing the most recent Weinergate pics, the House gym images released by TMZ. What they found has already put Harry Reid into overdrive as he hopes to put the lid on what we exclusively reported here 10 days ago (Senatorial Underpants Pop Up In Harry Reid’s Twitter Account!). Unfortunately for Reid and the Senate, TWSA! has discovered, in the best known Weiner House gym photo, shocking evidence that surely will complicate Reid’s investigation of senatorial underpants . . . Please click on the nun to read more, and to see the jaw-dropping visual evidence we’ve uncovered.
Senate Underpants Not Behind Him. The Majority Leader thought the Senate underpants probe was old news. As we reported (see link above) he’d asked Minority Leader Mitch McConnell to view the dozens of pics he’d received from (as yet unnamed) senators to determine whether the issue ought to be investigated further, with disciplinary action under consideration.
After nearly a week of round-the-clock examination of the senatorial underpants pics, taking breaks only for what a source described as “very, very cold showers,” Senator McConnell told Reid that he’d found no actionable offenses, although he’d kept copies of each picture in the event that something else “pops up,” our Senate source continued.
Reid, of course, was relieved. With the debt ceiling looming, negotiations with recalcitrant Republicans could not be siderailed by 12 pair of underpants, no matter how much seniority attached to them. He’d dodged a huge bullet. Or so he thought.
Whose Hands Are These? Below, we present the evidence we’ve discovered that appears to us, at least, that the Senate’s underpants problem has not gone poof. Here’s the gist:
- Below, is the picture released yesterday by TMZ. Upon first glance it shows Mr. Weiner posing in front of a House gym mirror for a picture he’s taking with his cell phone held in his hand.
- However, when examined with the state-of-the-art enlargement capabilities of Windows 7 picture viewer, we discovered a blurry pair of hands on the exercise bike behind Weiner (see yellow pointer).
- Then, eager to identify the owner of the hands, we “reverse engineered” the TMZ photo by sneaking into their corporate HQ and demanding, at gunpoint, the original uncropped image. The head of the Digital Imaging Division, who asked that his name be undisclosed, complied quickly after a series of warning shots.
- What you will see after you click on the cropped picture below will as they say “shock and amaze you.”
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| Click me for more! |
Quo Vadis Underpants? It’s, of course, a mind-blower. What are the implications of a U.S. Senate Minority Leader unethically using the House gymnasium? Moreover, why did Congressman Weiner not report this? Or did he? Is it possible thereby that Senator McConnell himself, in retaliation, revealed to the press the initial pics that led to Weinergate? Was, therefore, McConnell on Mr. Weiner’s twitter “maillist”?? Were they, perhaps, dating???
We can only speculate. However, for now, we are holding off on releasing our photo to the national press corps to allow Senator Reid and Senator McConnell to contact us with a statement for exclusive publication here. (Of course, our agreement doesn’t bar you from contacting, let’s say, HuffPo or the NYT or WaPo, The Onion, or our favorite here at TWSA!, the Daily Racing Form.)
Until we are contacted by the senators we are left only to wonder just how far into national crisis a few pair of underpants will take us. Is it possible that Weinergate and its senatorial progeny may yet threaten our political stability and then lead, inexorably, unstoppably, to fascistic ungodly communism??
Stay tuned here, good citizen.
