Romney Campaign Ads — NASA Scientists Assist With Development Of Method To Analyze Balderdash, Incompetence, And Confusion Levels

For immediate release. Friday, August 10, 2012, 8:00 pm, Washington, D.C.

In cooperation with NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena California, They Will Say ANYTHING! has produced a fully verified mathematical tool that will be used by campaign advisers to determine the precise strength of Mitt Romney campaign advertisements among the increasingly important contingent of independent or undecided voters of either party (hereinafter “the contingent”). As of today, the equation will be known as the Romney Campaign Ad Success Quotient (RCASQ). (The full equation, its variables, constants, and constraints are set out in the illustration at the bottom of this page.)

For example, using the RCASQ, the latest Romney campaign advertisement accusing the Obama administration of orchestrating a new HHS waiver program in order to gut the 1996 welfare reform law by undermining its work requirement achieved a score of 0.00000021 where a score of one (1.0) represents a 100% successful advertisement. Therefore, among the contingent, Romney’s new attack ad has been far less “successful” among our control groups than, for example, a campaign to elevate Adolph Hitler to sainthood in the Roman Catholic Church. In other words, while it is common knowledge that there is indeed some support for such a beatification of Hitler within the Catholic church, this support is no greater than 5-7% among those Catholic prelates who would be directly involved in a Hitler beatification process.

One can thereby conclude that the Romney ad in question accusing President Obama of attempting to “gut welfare reform,” and its RCASQ of 0.00000021 is less popular or successful among the contingent than would be an advertisement boosting Adolph Hitler’s candidacy for sainthood. Romney’s welfare attack ad score thus represents a very dubious “success” rate of 1 person per 21 million within the contingent.

Given these results, in the future, the Romney campaign marketing team would be well advised to specifically associate Governor Romney with a program to secure sainthood for Adolph Hitler as this would have a far higher success rate than attack ads directed against President Obama.

Finally, note that an RCASQ result indicates the failure rate of Romney campaign ads as well: it is simply (1 – RCASQ). Thus, in this instance, the Romney ad under consideration achieved a RCASQ of 0.00000021 which means the ad was considered a failure by 99.999979% of the contingent.

This extravagant failure rate and its concomitant dismal success rate is primarily due to the extremely high quantity of two of the three variables employed by the RCASQ (see chart below):

(1) “Confusion” = 9.7 x 10⁹, and
(2) “Incompetence” = 9.4 x 10²¹.

(Note: The “Balderdash” quantity (7.5 x 10¹⁸) has generally remained steady in all Romney campaign advertisements since 1993 that we have analyzed; in fact, more TWSA!/NASA research underway may indicate that in Mitt Romney’s case the balderdash quantity is a mathematical constant, like Archimedes’ constant (π), Euler’s number (e), or the golden ratio (φ).

At NASA’s request your editor will remain associated with the NASA research team that helped us at TWSA! produce the RCASQ introduced here today. Your editor is pleased to remain in contact with NASA to assist them in furthering Romney studies. Much still remains unknown. For example, our modeling has thus far indicated that Mitt Romney exhibits behaviors extraordinarily similar to those of NASA mini-robots used in the Mars rover for communications purposes. Is this simply a coincidence, or something more interesting? Your editor shall continue to both support and assist NASA scientists, and report our progress to you as well. Stay tuned.

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