More Signs The Apocalypse Is Upon Us – Burger King’s Bacon Sundae
Godiva Bacon Truffles, Move Over! We occasionally report on signs that the apocalypse is near. For many years I tried numerology, astrology, Mayan calendars, Egyptian hieroglyphics, and the density of Donald Trump’s hair to predict the ultimate finis to our planet. The distress and depression resulting from my failure to deliver on my predictions took its toll; I almost decided to stop predicting the end of days altogether.
Yet, there are ominous signs everywhere, like the one reported here last April. In any event, I’ve decided to embrace a rational method of predicting Armageddon. No more guesswork. Nostradamus, Schmostradamus! From now until the cataclysm I’ll limit my reporting to portentous signs and symbols I discover through my more scientific approach. My new dedication to rigorous scientific method assures accuracy in my end of the world endeavour. I’m an accuracy guy. Very old school.
Today I unearthed a new and quite obvious manifestation of imminent or perhaps future catastrophe, a crystal clear sign that the four horsemen are in their saddles, whip hands at the ready, bacon bits in their teeth:
Have three!
and 30 minutes cardiovascular resuscitation
