Amidst J.C. Penney’s Silence Brazilian Supplier Of Store’s New “Adolph Hitler Tea Kettle” Reacts To “Scurrilous” Media Coverage
Coming Soon from Penny’s — The Joseph Stalin Waffle Iron!!
Miguel Mateus Bloomer reporting from They Will Say ANYTHING!‘s São Paulo, Brazil Bureau. Tuesday, March 27, 2013. For Immediate Release
The Daily Mirror reported this morning about a strangely crafted tea kettle offered by J.C. Penney. It’s a silhouette of Adolph Hitler, Der Führer, Der Wolfe, Herr Nazi Hosen, Herr Satan Atem. Not a near silhouette; it’s a true and perfect silhouette. About the unfortunate controversy, J.C. Penney officials could be reached for comment, or, “for their safety,” had been relocated to other divisions without access to telephones, email, postage stamps, or windows.
The designer and supplier of the tea kettle, Borman und Söhne Metallverarbeitung in Brazil’s São Paulo, was more cooperative, however. It’s spokesperson, the snappily dressed (and unidentified)nonagenarian Senior Vice Marshal of the Borman & Sons Metal Works defended the kettle:
“The news media misrepresented the resemblance of Herr Hitler to our newly released tea kettle . For example, did not Herr Hitler have eyes? Und ears? And recall, Der Führer did not sport a runde schnurrbart! [round moustache] His was rectangular in shape. Thus we have disproved the scurrilous comments about our “Happy Times Past Tea Kettle.” Indeed, we have crushed them to dust under our heels. Do you have any questions?”
This reporter, nor any others, had any. In unanimity, we considered the matter settled.
More here if and as the story develops.
