Super Tuesday Fallout — Gingrich Supporters Roaming Massachusetts In “Committees of Truculence” — State Issues 1st “Citizens’ Defense Bulletin”
8:30 pm (EST), Thursday, March 8, 2012, TWSA! reporting from Boston, Massachusetts.
As we reported here, yesterday morning the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, home of so many storied events, now struggles to contain and disarm a group of insurgents. Calling themselves “the 5%ers” (that percentage of GOP voters who supported Newt Gingrich on Super Tuesday), these insurgents continue to bedevil the Commonwealth. Governor Patrick outlined many of the groups’ transgressions during Wednesday morning’s address to the Commonwealth, and then committed the state’s resources to combating the threat.
Governmental follow-up has been swift. I have just left a meeting chaired by Lt. Governor Timothy Murray, named yesterday as the chief liaison between the Massachusetts National Guard and the Governor’s Office. Major General Joseph C. Carter, The National Guard Adjutant General addressed the solemn gathering that included the entire Massachusetts Congressional delegation who had taken emergency leave from congressional duties to be in their home state during the 5%er insurgency.
With a grim Lt. Governor at his side, Major General Carter spoke of the tasks now and those ahead. He reported that the insurgents had formed into roving bands of men and women dressed in business suits and calling themselves “Committees of Truculence.” He said,
“These groups literally pull people off the streets and force them to purchase multiple copies of Newt Gingrich’s recent autobiography, Me. Moreover, they then strap these unfortunates into an uncomfortable straight backed chair. After that the read to them Callista Gingrich’s children’s book, Sweet Land of Liberty. We have reliable reports that this causes these victimized citizens to fall into a deep trance accompanied by copious drooling, memory loss, and as much as a 40% decline in I.Q.
As a career military officer, I have seen much of war and its cruel driving force. However, until this moment, ladies and gentlemen, I think I never really gauged the insurgency’s cruelty, or their recklessness. We have a daunting task ahead. I promise the best I have to give in reaching an ultimate victory.
Military staff then distributed the first “Fight Back!” bulletin, produced by the Governor’s newly formed Defense Council. It will be widely posted, available on the internet, and in all local newspapers throughout the Commonwealth. Moreover, the leaflets will be dropped from Massachusetts Air National Guard helicopters in all Massachusetts towns that are believed to be in the path of “Committees of Truculence” forces.
Rather than summarizing its contents, below is the bulletin itself.
to assist citizens in avoiding roaming bands of Newt G…
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