Get Me Out Of Arizona!: Border Wars Update
Self-Styled Editor Mike’s Note: Please welcome Booktender (pictured at left), our new contributor, a resident of Arizona, which just last week celebrated its 100th anniversary as a state. AZ is, in political terms, basically Maricopa County, the red, and Tuscon County, the sorta less red, softened with sky blue. This is the state that gave us the diverse political personalities of Barry Goldwater, Gabrielle Giffords, César Chávez, Cindi McCain, and of course, King Tut. All born Arizonans, most stayed there, except, of course, King Tut who moved to Babylonia and great success, although, in the end, he gave his life for tourism. Let’s not forget an Arizona dynasty, the entire Udall family, that living genetic monument to bipartisanship. They too grace Arizona’s history.
We can look forward to Booktender, whenever her time permits (she actually works), keeping us abreast of that combination of sunstroke and frosty sentiment that often infuses Arizona’s political and cultural life. Animated by non-Arizona born “outsiders” like Jan Brewer, the Guv; Joe Arpaio, the sheriff; and the likes of Ben Quayle, the Congressloon, Booktender has much to choose from. As you’ll see, she writes with a keen eye and sympathetic ear to politics and culture. She also links a well-calibrated bullsh*t detector with a natural gift for satire. I’m so happy to have her here that, well, I can only express it by doing something you know I hate: shutting my yap . . . and letting her words speak for themselves . . .
It’s getting toward spring here in the desert hills and, after a long nap, the Bearforce is busy preparing to track down and harass any illegal immigrant in the general vicinity of the Arizona/Mexico border. Let’s take a look at the newest additions to the Official Bearforce Scrap Book.
In an incredibly lucky break, the Border Warden’s Manual has been unearthed, studied, and then eaten. No sense letting the other team in on our secrets.
The arrival of Major Ursa Major has been enthusiastically welcomed. His years of experience, good nature, and gung-ho attitude are a big inspiration to the troops. To the right is a picture of him at this year’s kick-off brunch.
Physical training was started immediately after brunch, starting with an invigorating slosh through the local creeks in search of fish for the evening’s dinner.
Hand to hand combat training
is going well.
Research & Development (Eagle Division) is promising lots of new tech this year. Here’s hoping these new tools are both affordable and effective.
Finally, morale is sure to remain high this year thanks to the untiring efforts of the amateur drama group, Los Osos.
