Election GOPocalypse — Hurricane Sandy : Obama’s Mightiest Surrogate? Haley Barbour & Karl Rove Think So. God, Who Gets The Last Word, Does Not.

MATT LAUER: So Chris Christie should not be held to blame for any part of this
election loss on Mitt Romney in your opinion?

HALEY BARBOUR: Hurricane Sandy saved Barack Obama’s presidency.
It broke – it broke the momentum that Romney had coming in at the end of October.
But that’s not Chris Christie’s fault.
 
Today Show, November 8, 2012

Just as we know that birds drop dead in flight because of God has been offended by same-sex marriage, so do we also realize that all bad things follow from God’s judgment. For instance, recall 2011’s Birdopalypse and Fishmageddon in Arkansas:  God was reacting to the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Screw up, and God will toss a few fish at you. This has been proved. This we know.

Well, lately there’s been a GOPocalypse. This too we know. Among all the reasons put forth by Republicans the one put forward above by former Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour puts them in a bit of a philosophical bind. 

Also on November 8, in a Wall Street Journal op-ed, Karl Rove, the man known as Turd Blossom, stressed the “luck” of President Obama to have the intercession of Hurricane Sandy:

The president was also lucky. This time, the October surprise was not a dirty trick but an act of God. Hurricane Sandy interrupted Mr. Romney’s momentum and allowed Mr. Obama to look presidential and bipartisan.

Aside from the demonstration of Rove’s character by his referring to a violent, killing storm as somebody’s “lucky” turn of events, the evidence does not support Rove’s or Barbour’s spin.¹ President Obama had been rebounding from his poor performance in the first debate well before the Hurricane.

Here’s the message of Hurricane Sandy, my pesky Republican rascals.

Other than finding no refuge in the facts, Republicans everywhere have made the Sandy effect an article of faith, an article they claim to know a lot about. Much of their agenda derives, not from evidence, but from articles of evangelical faith. And here is where the true Sandy believers run headlong into a philosophical storm. If, as they believe, birds and fish falling from the sky registered God’s anger about homosexuality then certainly it must be true that Hurricane Sandy stuck to the same principle: God was royally ticked off, this time not by repeal of DADT, but by Romney’s rebound in the polls. What else could it be? In fact, God was so po’ed that She unleashed Hurricane Sandy to mess with the election.

Given their belief system, there’s really no other way for them to interpret Sandy. God is perfect. No mistakes allowed. Bird kamikazes and flying fish were signs. God was really steamed.  God is consistent. No wavering allowed. So, just as flying fish follows same-sex marriage, so too does Hurricane Sandylet Republicans know – if only they will listen – that the Romney/Ryan shellacking is a message. SHe is not happy with you.

Be warned Republicans. Lock up your parakeets, secure your goldfish. In the end, God’s a liberal.

Please follow and like us: