Cardiac Life Extension Marketing Association Picks “Best New Sandwich – 2011”
It’s cold today on Lake Superior’s Isle Royale, the Michigan island home of the Cardiac Life Extension Marketing Association (CMDMA). Since an unexpected warm spell last weekend, the group, some 125 strong, has conducted a surprisingly grueling period of sandwich testing, nutrition monitoring, and competition judging. In their “day jobs,” these doctors, scientists, bioengineers, and entrepeuneurs, create, test, and market life-saving products for the millions of us who need a little “boost” every now and again to keep our hearts beating. Gadgets like pacemakers. Cardiac monitors. Defibrillators, manual and automated, internal and external, battery-operated and wind-up. I own and use all of these gadgets, and have them with me and attached to me wherever I go. And I can’t afford to go less than first class. Under my CLEMA-membership “medical directive,” I must be “‘defibbed’ for a minimum of two full weeks (336 consecutive hours)” prior to disconnecting my cords, yanking the D-sized batteries, and pulling the last plug. . .
So, naturally, I keep up with this group. I’m their only “adjunct member,” which I have a suspicion was allowed simply to mollify the complaints of their membership supervisor. In any event, recent advances in cardiology and basic research, particularly in nutrition science, have made meaningful contributions to an increasingly good “report card” of national heart health.
CLEMA applauds this, as we all do. To piggy-back this national cardiovascular health effort, they have today released the results of their first of what will be an annual competition, the year’s “Best New Sandwich.” This honored sandwich must best combine all the nutrition, taste, and health criteria that
“best represents the interests of CLEMA members in expanding the number of cardiac life extension and monitoring services and devices available to doctors, hospitals, rehabilitation agencies, federal, state and local public health services. and cardiac-challenged patients.”
On a sad note, in its press release accompanying the poster below, CLEMA announced,
“This award is dedicated to, and in loving memory of, Dr. Herbert LeMondaine, renowned cardiologist, who passed away from sudden cardiac arrest fifteen minutes after consuming the prize-winning sandwich.”
Second place winner, “The BBQ Chicken Squeeze Bacon Combo,” is to die for.
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