Cardinal Gingrich Pays Homage To The Pope Of Fifth Avenue, Seeks Permission To Employ “Poorest Children” In His Campaign.
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| Ego sum papa! |
On Monday, at a gold-encrusted fortress in his city–state within downtown New York City, Pope Donald Trump met with Cardinal Gingo of Georgia. The Cardinal’s purpose? To add a highly-sought after papal blessing to his newest proposal to not merely employ children in public schools as janitors, but to do so as well in his campaign for the Presidency of the United States (a country that surrounds Pope Donald’s independent and sovereign religious state headquartered at 725 5th Avenue). Following their meeting, the Pope, with cardinal Gingo at his side, had this to annunciate, ex cathedra, as always:
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet fore decem iuvenes mira et filii erant ‘iens apprenti facere.”
[We’re going to be picking ten young, wonderful children, and we’re going to make them apprenti.]
Reporters responded respectfully. A few gasped,
“Ah, sic, per ‘filios mirabilem,’ multum curat papa eorum.”
[Ah, yes, the ‘wonderful children,’ the Pope he cares much for them.]
Pope Donald continued,
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, parva est.” [We’re going to have a little fun with it.]
Cardinal Gingo’s eyes grew larger with anticipation and he nodded approvingly, smiling eagerly, perhaps looking forward to sharing multo fun with His Holiness and youthful apprenti.
Some reporters offered their own children to the Cardinal and to the Pope. His Holiness quickly and graciously provided each reporter with his card, indicating that He would be auditioning “oh adeo multi filii” [oh so very many children] for employment within both His and Cardinal Gingo’s countries.
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| “Mihi facere in pauperes robocalls filiorum pauperis.” [Bring me the poorest of the poor children to make robocalls.] – Cardinal Gingo of Georgia |
Then, the Pope dismissed reporters and, with Cardinal Gingo, retired to a waiting limousine where, according to His Holiness’s spokesperson, they were offered – and accepted – “Lorem ipsum velum et urbis statu offerre minimus” [The very best, and youngest veal the city-state has to offer.]
Within the limousine, while being served a light sacramental Merlot by nine year old apprenti, the Pope and Cardinal winked at reporters as they were driven off, into the future.
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| The first child to be chosen as one of “ten, young, wonderful children” to be apprenti. |
